Just Believe
It's been a while since I've posted, but I've had good reasons. I've been going through something extremely difficult, but that is not what I am here to write about. Someday I might, but it's just too raw at this point. What I do want share is the "beautiful thing" that helped me get through the worst of it and make it to the other side in one piece.
It was something seemingly small, one word, spoken by my husband. I was worrying, questioning, crying and just being a big mess. Somehow through all that noise, what he said instantly struck a chord in me, almost stopping me in my tracks. He told me, "Just believe".
I don't know how or why this one word had such an enormous impact on me, but the moment it was spoken, I felt a weight lift off of me.
This is not a word I take lightly coming from him. He is not a "believer" of many things. He just didn't grow up that way. I, on the other hand, grew up in a very believing household, surrounded by a culture of belief that shook me, in a very real way, and often in a very wrong way, to the point of fear. It wasn't until I was in high school that I started to question the truth of all that I was taught and tried to make my own sense of what I felt in my heart to be true. I still question often and at times don't know for sure what to believe. But in my deepest core and when I am at my best, I believe in a higher power and love as the most powerful force and in good winning and in the greater purpose of it all, and all that mushy dreamy stuff. I had almost forgotten how to believe, and the nudge, coming from someone who is so practical, was what I needed.
The word "believe" has so much power in both a negative and positive direction. It can bring forth great fear, as I experienced when I was young. It can cause controversy, even war, pitting people against each other for differences of opinion. It can serve an evil purpose, as in, hatred for others for what they do or don't believe. At the very least, it can be mistaken for utter stupidity, if someone else doesn't understand your point of view.
On the other hand, the amazing side of belief is that no one can take it away from you. It is yours to keep if you wish. It can fill you with immense hope if you choose to partake in it. It can help you get through the difficulties and pain of life knowing there is a light at the end of the tunnel, that death is not the end of a soul, etc. Some people even say that whatever you consistently believe yourself to be will eventually come true.
But in order for "it" to do its job, you have to make the first move. You have to be the one to start believing. And then you have to keep believing, which can at times take effort and self-reminders and persistence. But there are times, perhaps even brief moments, when it feels so effortless, when you have no doubt. Those are the sweet spots.
Whatever you are going through, try to find something to believe and just trust that it is true. It could potentially transform the way you experience life and all its craziness. Maybe it's something you already believed, but have forgotten or have begun to doubt. Maybe it's the thought that you can achieve your goal, even if it seems so far out of reach. Heck, believe in unicorns if that is what helps you.
What I've chosen to believe recently (and I have to keep working on this daily) is that there is a purpose for this experience. Something good, perhaps even beautiful, will come out of this pain. It is going to get better and good things are coming, and also a few other more personal beliefs that give me comfort. More importantly I believe that I don't have to worry or despair, because in the end, no matter what happens, I'm going to be alright. And no one can take that from me.
Because that is what I choose to believe.
And since it is my favorite season, I am surrounded by the loving reminders that nature provides. Autumn shows us that seasons always change and all things shall pass. The trees and their colorful, falling leaves also remind us of how beautiful it can be to let things go...
My fall leaf art therapy 😌 :
Lastly, if nothing else, believing in something other than what is obviously in front of you makes life way more bearable, and more sweet, and that, in my opinion is worth it.
"Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." ~Ronald Dahl
It was something seemingly small, one word, spoken by my husband. I was worrying, questioning, crying and just being a big mess. Somehow through all that noise, what he said instantly struck a chord in me, almost stopping me in my tracks. He told me, "Just believe".
I don't know how or why this one word had such an enormous impact on me, but the moment it was spoken, I felt a weight lift off of me.
This is not a word I take lightly coming from him. He is not a "believer" of many things. He just didn't grow up that way. I, on the other hand, grew up in a very believing household, surrounded by a culture of belief that shook me, in a very real way, and often in a very wrong way, to the point of fear. It wasn't until I was in high school that I started to question the truth of all that I was taught and tried to make my own sense of what I felt in my heart to be true. I still question often and at times don't know for sure what to believe. But in my deepest core and when I am at my best, I believe in a higher power and love as the most powerful force and in good winning and in the greater purpose of it all, and all that mushy dreamy stuff. I had almost forgotten how to believe, and the nudge, coming from someone who is so practical, was what I needed.
The word "believe" has so much power in both a negative and positive direction. It can bring forth great fear, as I experienced when I was young. It can cause controversy, even war, pitting people against each other for differences of opinion. It can serve an evil purpose, as in, hatred for others for what they do or don't believe. At the very least, it can be mistaken for utter stupidity, if someone else doesn't understand your point of view.
On the other hand, the amazing side of belief is that no one can take it away from you. It is yours to keep if you wish. It can fill you with immense hope if you choose to partake in it. It can help you get through the difficulties and pain of life knowing there is a light at the end of the tunnel, that death is not the end of a soul, etc. Some people even say that whatever you consistently believe yourself to be will eventually come true.
But in order for "it" to do its job, you have to make the first move. You have to be the one to start believing. And then you have to keep believing, which can at times take effort and self-reminders and persistence. But there are times, perhaps even brief moments, when it feels so effortless, when you have no doubt. Those are the sweet spots.
Whatever you are going through, try to find something to believe and just trust that it is true. It could potentially transform the way you experience life and all its craziness. Maybe it's something you already believed, but have forgotten or have begun to doubt. Maybe it's the thought that you can achieve your goal, even if it seems so far out of reach. Heck, believe in unicorns if that is what helps you.
What I've chosen to believe recently (and I have to keep working on this daily) is that there is a purpose for this experience. Something good, perhaps even beautiful, will come out of this pain. It is going to get better and good things are coming, and also a few other more personal beliefs that give me comfort. More importantly I believe that I don't have to worry or despair, because in the end, no matter what happens, I'm going to be alright. And no one can take that from me.
Because that is what I choose to believe.
And since it is my favorite season, I am surrounded by the loving reminders that nature provides. Autumn shows us that seasons always change and all things shall pass. The trees and their colorful, falling leaves also remind us of how beautiful it can be to let things go...
Lastly, if nothing else, believing in something other than what is obviously in front of you makes life way more bearable, and more sweet, and that, in my opinion is worth it.
"Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." ~Ronald Dahl
Comments
@Laura-thank you for all the support. I love you too.
P.S. Amanda, thank you for being such an example of strength and faith to others. I love you, and I continue to pray for you and Wes.